Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Reflections

Hello fellow bloggers, Dana here -- Quincy & The zoo crews mum. As some of you may have read the crew and I suffered a major loss this past weekend. Both our beloved conures Eclipse and Laa Laa passed away. Then yesterday one of our beloved rats Cera is very ill and appears to be dying. Things are rough right now for us all. We are having a very hard time dealing with all the loss. The kids (whom the birds belonged to) are taking it hardest of all. Told me I was a liar because I told them they could keep their birds forever. :-( That really tore me up inside. How do you explain to a 4 and 3 year old that god wanted them so he took them. That now they are happy and flying free watching over us?!?! Losing loved ones is never easy this I believe goes without saying. But the whole house is off. Our cockatiel is confused she isn't singing like she usually does and she is just -- depressed. The house is for a lack of better words -- Quiet. Ironic usually I wouldn't say this is a bad thing. But in this case I have to make an exception. I miss their screams. I miss hearing Eclipse scream at me for his "goodies" and then saying "Whatcha doing?" "I will be a good boy, I promise". Then his sinister laughter. I miss Laa Laa screaming "Whats good" "Pretty birdie". It's too quiet around here!!. . . .
The kids want to get "new birds". But I am not ready to go down that road just yet. There are no replacements for them. They were one of kind kinda birds. Does that make sense?? I tried to explain to them that we needed to heal. Michael tried to tell them we were just going to spend time with the zoo crew and make them all happy. They seemed OK with that. My mother is bitching at me saying I have to get the kids replacement birds. Am I wrong or selfish for not wanting to get "replacement" birds??
I just don't know. I am not handling this at all. I don't want to and I can't, not yet.

1 comment:

The Thundering Herd said...

Since I do not have children, I have no right - or frankly, knowledgeable opinion - on how to cope with this for your children.

But for you, I can say that time will tell you when it is right to get "replacements." Because you are right, they are not replacements, but new additions to the family and a new chapter.

There are groups out there that help work through the mourning - and there are plenty of us out there who have felt the pain. We understand. And we are here.